Sunday, December 30, 2012

Anonymous: To Be or Not To Be?

I initially thought I'd write this Blog anonymously. My reasons included:
  1. I didn't want it to be about how "wonderful" I was, by doing "all" these kind things
  2. I thought it would be fun from a writing perspective to hide my gender and hint at my identity
  3. I was afraid I might do a poor job (at both writing and at being kind)
  4. I wanted to avoid any personally directed negative feedback
{in other words I was a little afraid to put myself out there}

But a fellow Blogger challenged me on this issue, so I decided to reconsider.

Will writing anonymously make this Blog better or worse? Will the anonymity give me an easy out (I could just drop it and no one would really know)? Will attaching my name keep me from writing as freely? I guess the only question that should really matter is what would be more likely to increase the amount of kindness in the world (which is supposed to be my goal)?

Knowing myself, as I do, I'm pretty sure it would be too easy to let this whole thing drop as the busyness of life overtook my schedule. If I let this drop, I would probably revert to my previous way of thinking ... which lacked the conscious question "what kind thing could I do in this situation?" Though naturally a pretty kind person ... once known as "Kind Ken" in an adjective name icebreaker game  ... if I don't have that question in my mind I won't be as kind or I won't be kind as often. So regardless of whether or not anyone ever actually reads this Blog, if I don't reveal myself (creating some level of accountability) there would be less kindness in the world.

Therefore my real identity shall forevermore be associated with this Blog.

If anyone sees me being unkind, feel free to remind me about my Blog. But please be kind about it ... that way you too can help to increase the amount of kindness in the world.

Saturday, December 29, 2012

The Day I Cried at my Barista

The other morning I had a bit of an emotional meltdown while getting my morning cup of Joe. Mind you, I’m not normally the type to cry in public (except quietly, at the appropriate times, in a dark theater showing a tear jerker), but this particular morning I broke with convention … right in front of a poor unsuspecting young lady.
 
“Why?” you ask. Well it was one of those synergistic events where the combined effect of multiple things was greater than the sum of the individual things.

The first leg of my rickety emotional chair was the recent death of my step father. Watching my elderly mother go through the 2nd death of a husband (in less than a decade) had definitely saddened me and caused reflection on the pains in life.

The second leg of my wobbly chair was the recent Sandy Hook school shootings. Every day since that tragic event I found myself tearing up with a sense of hopelessness and sorrow. I tend to literally feel the emotional pain of others (AKA contagious empathy), if I allow myself to focus on their suffering.

The third leg of my now teetering chair was my choice of iPod genres. I chose “Country” (need I say more?) and had listened to “Concrete Angel” that morning (thanks a lot Martina). In fact, feeling emotionally safe in my car, I pushed the replay button and listened to it a second time.  I didn’t see the train wreck ahead.

The final leg of my collapsing chair was a text message I got just as I pulled into the coffee stand. I could have waited until I was safely alone at work to read it, but Oh No why wait? This resulted in my reading that … my dearest friends’ mother had just died and I was needed to comfort my friend … seconds before pulling up to my Baristas window.

I lost it.

I’ll skip the gory details and just say that my Barista (who probably deserved combat pay that day) gave me a hug and showed a level of kindness and compassion far too rare in our modern society.

After I explained the sequence of events that had preceded my (somewhat embarrassing) incident we started talking about the difficulties of life and how little acts of kindness can effect people in ways beyond what we imagine. She had recently learned how her purposeful smiles and friendly greetings had helped someone endure a particularly trying time. I shared my long held belief that happiness and joy are not limited resources to be hoarded, but can be increased in the world by individuals choosing to seek out opportunities to show kindness.

This brings me to the purpose of this Blog. The above incident and other recent life events have helped me to realize that while I can’t stop the suffering in the world I can do something to ease it.

“What?” you ask. With a demanding job, spouse, kids, home, elderly parent, health issues, etc. and barely enough energy to drag myself out of bed some mornings it won’t be earth shaking, but it will be something. For the next year I intend to use my limited time, energy, and skills (e.g. kind heart, sense of humor, creativity?) to do little intentional acts of kindness and Blog about the experiences.

Who knows, maybe others will follow suit and there will be a snowball effect with people all over the world doing intentional acts of kindness!!! Or maybe I will only succeed at putting smiles on a few people’s faces. That’s OK too, because in the wise words of Buddy the Elf “I just like to smile, smiling’s my favorite.”